Back Here

Apparently this blog is just going to be a spring semester type of deal. And I'm done with the ship metaphor, because that was just too hard to keep up. Anyways, I wanted to get back to blogging because we actually had to for a class, and I started wanting to do it again. So here I am.

Lots has changed since I last was on whatever land mass I was. Summer came, and with it my single status. It was my own fault, and even then I knew it was for the best for all involved. It was starting to devolve, whether he knew it or not, and I thought it best to abandon ship before we were both deeply scarred.

This summer I also grew up a lot. I realized that I invest too much time and effort in trying to make someone want to be with me. I found last semester that I didn't have to do much to produce the same effect I had on previous occasions. So I came into this new semester with a new idea: To not actively pursue anyone, to try not to take an invested interest in someone. Generally, it leads to pain.

So I didn't. I came in eager to see those who I hadn't in over three months, and ready to make amends with the one who's heart I ended up unintentionally damaging. I tried to, but I'm not sure it succeeded. I think his heart was still invested, while mine had already moved on and was at the time floating around. We eventually got to an unspoken agreement of avoiding talking about the past, and that ended up in drifting apart.

I really am sorry I hurt him. I never meant to. I guess I truly do embody the traits of a Gemini. I need change in my life. Gemini's generally are always going from one project to another, and can never be satisfied with one thought occupying their mind. It was safe with him. I had nothing to worry about with him. Many would love that sense of security, but it wasn't what I wanted. There wasn't even a perceived threat that wouldn't happen in the whole time I'd know him. We are also both Geminis, which means we probably have more personality traits than is advisable for a romantic relationship.

But traits for a great friendship was what we shared. I also think that, had we not been eager to try the relationship and had I thought a little clearer, that he could have turned into one of my closest male friends. I'm just not sure if we can get past the past and be able to talk to each other as freely as we did before we started dating. And I'm not sure if our current romantic interests would like that either.

Which leads me back to the beginning of this year. The first week I got a dancing lesson from a cute boy and a date with said cute boy. Thing is, I didn't realize it was a date until about halfway through. Call me oblivious. Anyway, I went into it not expecting anything to come of it, since we were just getting to know each other. But in the end, something did come of it. He is now the first person who I have dated that I wasn't friends with first. It allows for some interesting introspection, and it's going along swimmingly.

Other things this year, not so much. I had a paper take up most of my time this semester, seeing as it turned out to be 125 pages, and between that, other classes, and friends here, something had to give. It was my best friend from home. We didn't talk as frequently as in the past, and she blamed it mainly on me. Thing is, we started to run out of similar interests, and it was my fault I don't like fishing for topics that I can deal with reading about. So that's been slowly degrading, but it's not quite gone yet.

Those are the main updates. Now that everyone's been briefed, I'll probably go through and examine all of these topics in the coming weeks.