Generally I like blogging alone, with no one around, but tonight I'm not. Mainly because I want to get something down before I go on break. It's a weird feeling, having someone in the room with me, making weird noises because she's playing Dead Space. Especially with the topic of tonight.
Earlier today Dave (my boyfriend, for any who are just now tuning in), one of his close friends (my acquaintance), and I went to After Dark, which is a sex shop. Now, I'm fine with having someone come with us, since neither of us had a car and we wanted to compare it to the other sex shop in town (Cirilla's). And in Dave's psychology of sexuality class, people from another sex shop came by, so of course he was curious. It's fine that we all looked at everything intently. What started to get weird was how the sex stories started coming out, and I learned a lot more about her than anticipated.
For example, I now know that she will probably be sleeping with someone who's coming with. Someone who just got out of a relationship a few weeks ago. Granted, someone who's a friend and who she's liked for quite some time, but it was a bit startling for me to hear. I don't hang out with her even on a weekly basis, and she was just so open about it. The next thing I found out is that she has a dildo. Here. That her roommate takes and waves around. And near the end, I found out that she likes to use lube. Mainly because she was wondering which bottle she wanted to get, and asking me for advice.
Now, maybe it's just the way I was raised and haven't shaken this yet, but if I hardly know someone I don't normally tell them about my "sexploits". Hell, I haven't even told some of my closest friends about them. I guess I'm slightly traditional and like to think of sex as a private matter. Maybe it's because for me, 98% of the time it's making love. Dave doesn't think it's a big deal. She didn't think it was a big deal. Dave's other friends always joke about it, since we're the only people in a relationship. I joke about it to my friends in relationships that are at school (like to my roommate).
But I don't go into it thinking that everyone's had sex, because I know everyone hasn't. Most of the time I assume, when I meet a person, that they're a virgin, and this will continue to be in my head unless they tell me otherwise. I'm constantly surprised by what "sexploits" I've heard from this girl, because of this view of the world. I will admit there are a few exceptions. The girls who wear belts for skirts, and a wash cloth for a shirt. The ones who's clothing screams "EASY". Those girls I judge and assume they're not virgins. Because they're just trying to get someone to take notice of them, and trying to find love in a meaningless act with meaningless people.
I'll share stories about my sexploits if I'm close enough to the person. I'll outright lie to someone about my sexploits if I don't know them very well. I've done this multiple times. I've lied to my parents about this as well. It's just something that's private, that's between you and the person and maybe a few close friends. It's not something you share with the world, and it's not something you assume everyone does or is comfortable talking about it. Then again, this could be my parents' doing. I've only gotten the "sexual intercourse" talk from my mother twice. Once when I started menstruating, and once when things started getting serious with my boyfriend at the time. Sex was never discussed in our house.
I guess I should stop being surprised when I find out someone's not a virgin. I mean, we're all 20-somethings now. But I'll probably never change my position on believing someone's a virgin until they tell me they're not. Innocent until proven guilty, right?
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