My life has become significantly less rushed since I've finished three of my five week classes.
And now, I can attempt to focus my energies on Spanish, which I'm sorry to say isn't really happening. I'm at the point where I really can't do much to bring up my grade until the next quiz, and I don't even know when that is. So that's kind of not much of a worry anymore. But that's alright, because I've got a lot of other drama to observe.
Mainly this idea of a one night stand. A few people that I've talked to have said that it's actually not as bad as you'd think it would be. I've even heard that it's recommended to have at least one in your lifetime, in a magazine no less. I won't lie and say that the thought of having one hasn't crossed my mind before. But I know that I wouldn't be able to go through with it once the time came.
Maybe it's because I'm not the stereotypical college student. I don't like going to big parties. I don't really enjoy the idea hooking up with just anyone. I don't need to drink to have fun; in fact, there are a lot of times when I just don't want to drink, but everyone around me does. I like relationships over random hookups or friends with benefits.
But some people that I know who I never thought would have a one night stand have, and they didn't turn out as bad as I expected. Granted, there were a few who got invested, but that's to be expected. I just know that I can't go through with it, mainly because I had an opportunity to do just that earlier, and it didn't happen.
Though that situation wasn't really a one night stand situation, because I had gotten to know him before the time came to actually do anything. But that's beside the point. I knew him and I wasn't going to get with him, so how is not knowing someone any better for me to hook up with them? I don't understand the logic.
I can't give myself away to just anyone. To be honest, until this summer I have never even kissed someone without any expectations. The only times I've kissed someone was when I was in a relationship, or expected to be in one shortly after. That is hard enough for me to deal with, so I really don't think sleeping with someone I don't know is something I can do.
And I know all the complications. I don't want to be viewed as just a sex object, because I have a brain as well. I don't like being underestimated, and I feel like if I just slept with someone that would be their highest expectation of me. I also know that I can and do get attached to people, and I view sex as something private. It's something to be shared between two people that love each other, so I'd probably feel like a whore after.
I guess that makes me really traditional in my views of sex then. But you know what? I think that if you really just want sex, then I don't want anything to do with you. So if waiting to get to know me and love me seems like a tough and unenjoyable concept, then I'm perfectly fine with you letting me know and then cutting off contact.
I like to think that this mentality makes me more mature, but at the same time maybe it's an immature view of sex. I'm not sure, but if you're reading this I'd really like to hear your thoughts.
Showing posts with label Sex. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Sex. Show all posts
Monday, November 8, 2010
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
Sex on Fire (68/90)
I went rock climbing today, and am now sore.
Lately it seems like I've been surrounded by sex. My friends keep talking about it, the soap operas my mom watches use it as a major plot point, and there's usually something sexual in the movies. It's natural to be curious about it, because thinking about it in its most base sense may seem a bit odd. Honestly, it's sticking something repeatedly in and out for an indeterminable amount of time until exhausted.
There has been an increasing number of teens who have sex at a younger age, and many believe that abstinence-only sexual education will bring the number down. Here's my two cents: I was just a teen. Telling me not to do something makes me want to do it even more. And teaching me that I shouldn't have sex because it's bad or will lead to pregnancy and/or STD's may deter some, but on the off chance that I did give in, I'd like to be informed. Obviously there have been people who have had sex and haven't gotten any of these, so teaching about condoms at the very least seems like a good idea.
When I was in middle school, I wasn't thinking about sex. I was thinking about hanging out with my friends, reading, and writing. I can't imagine thinking about sex at that young of an age, but there are teens that are. It's an odd thought for me, to think that they want to lose their virginity at such a young age. So then I got to thinking about why it could be.
As I said before, there's some type of sexual situation in everyday programming. It seems like with more advances in technology we care less about what goes on the screen. Just looking at a PG-13 rated movie from a few years ago compared to today will give you a good idea of that. People have embraced that old advertising adage: Sex sells.
And it truly does. Not only on TV, but in our music. There are songs about wanting to have sex with "every girl in the world," about how boys like to "ride" someone, and about how someone may be crazy, but since she's good at sex the guy is glad to stick around. These songs are "Every Girl" by Young Money, "Ride" by Ciara, and "Crazy B*tch" by Buckcherry, if you were wondering. They're all about sex. There's no hidden meaning behind the words. They want to have good sex, and some just want women to have sex with.
These are chart-topping hits, and they are accompanied by music videos. The dancing in them is highly sexual and suggestive, with scantily-clad women in "Every Girl," a lot of booty shaking in "Ride," and strippers in "Crazy B*tch."I won't deny that I don't own each of these songs, but then again I'm 21. I won't say that they should be pulled from the radio, because I enjoy them. Granted, I enjoy "Every Girl" because I find the lyrics amusing.
But I think that since younger girls are emulating the women they see in these music videos that something needs to change. At age 14 I don't think you're ready for sex, personally. I don't know what needs to change exactly, except maybe better parenting. At the age of 14 you can't have a job, so these girls are (presumably) getting their clothes from their parents. At the very least, the parents are allowing them to walk around like that.
Personally, I wouldn't let my 14 year old daughter walk out of the house in a skirt where the pockets stick out on the bottom. Maybe I'm just a bit old-fashioned, but I know she wouldn't be emotionally ready for sex, and there are people out there who could take advantage of her naivety to try to persuade her into doing something she didn't want to.
I don't know exactly what, but I think that something needs to change.
Lately it seems like I've been surrounded by sex. My friends keep talking about it, the soap operas my mom watches use it as a major plot point, and there's usually something sexual in the movies. It's natural to be curious about it, because thinking about it in its most base sense may seem a bit odd. Honestly, it's sticking something repeatedly in and out for an indeterminable amount of time until exhausted.
There has been an increasing number of teens who have sex at a younger age, and many believe that abstinence-only sexual education will bring the number down. Here's my two cents: I was just a teen. Telling me not to do something makes me want to do it even more. And teaching me that I shouldn't have sex because it's bad or will lead to pregnancy and/or STD's may deter some, but on the off chance that I did give in, I'd like to be informed. Obviously there have been people who have had sex and haven't gotten any of these, so teaching about condoms at the very least seems like a good idea.
When I was in middle school, I wasn't thinking about sex. I was thinking about hanging out with my friends, reading, and writing. I can't imagine thinking about sex at that young of an age, but there are teens that are. It's an odd thought for me, to think that they want to lose their virginity at such a young age. So then I got to thinking about why it could be.
As I said before, there's some type of sexual situation in everyday programming. It seems like with more advances in technology we care less about what goes on the screen. Just looking at a PG-13 rated movie from a few years ago compared to today will give you a good idea of that. People have embraced that old advertising adage: Sex sells.
And it truly does. Not only on TV, but in our music. There are songs about wanting to have sex with "every girl in the world," about how boys like to "ride" someone, and about how someone may be crazy, but since she's good at sex the guy is glad to stick around. These songs are "Every Girl" by Young Money, "Ride" by Ciara, and "Crazy B*tch" by Buckcherry, if you were wondering. They're all about sex. There's no hidden meaning behind the words. They want to have good sex, and some just want women to have sex with.
These are chart-topping hits, and they are accompanied by music videos. The dancing in them is highly sexual and suggestive, with scantily-clad women in "Every Girl," a lot of booty shaking in "Ride," and strippers in "Crazy B*tch."I won't deny that I don't own each of these songs, but then again I'm 21. I won't say that they should be pulled from the radio, because I enjoy them. Granted, I enjoy "Every Girl" because I find the lyrics amusing.
But I think that since younger girls are emulating the women they see in these music videos that something needs to change. At age 14 I don't think you're ready for sex, personally. I don't know what needs to change exactly, except maybe better parenting. At the age of 14 you can't have a job, so these girls are (presumably) getting their clothes from their parents. At the very least, the parents are allowing them to walk around like that.
Personally, I wouldn't let my 14 year old daughter walk out of the house in a skirt where the pockets stick out on the bottom. Maybe I'm just a bit old-fashioned, but I know she wouldn't be emotionally ready for sex, and there are people out there who could take advantage of her naivety to try to persuade her into doing something she didn't want to.
I don't know exactly what, but I think that something needs to change.
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
Sexy Can I? (17/90)
Had a job interview today. We'll see how well that goes, or if I'll be relying on my Hooters application.
Lately I've been hearing rumors about Miley Cyrus's lap dance, so I watched the video. It's as bad as they say it was. It was disgusting to watch, knowing that she was 16 at the time dancing with a 44-year-old. And her parents made excuses for her, just like when she danced on the stripper pole with stripper-like clothing.
And little girls are looking up to her. It's like a replay of Britney and Christina, except in one tiny little girl who's reached their peak of sexing it up at age 17. Sometimes I wonder how people can allow their children to go do it, especially ones in the public eye. A lot of adults are outraged at her sexual dance moves and parent's disregard for the path she's traveling. I'm disgusted, and I'm a few years older than her. I see this in people my own age, though, and am disgusted as well.
I don't dance like that in public. I hardly dance like that in private, unless I'm trying a new dancing work out. It's basically sex standing up with clothes on. At my high school, people did have sex standing up at the dances. And we let our children watch this, and emulate it. It's ridiculous.
Parents have gotten to the point where they don't discipline their children, like the Cyrus'. I was spanked if I so much as got caught in a lie, and taught to listen to my parents. Kids today run around rampant while their parents watch, because they don't want to look like "the bad guy". Now spanking is considered child abuse. Honestly, my kids are getting spanked. It's a way to discipline that, until we decided it wasn't politically correct to do so, worked wonders.
So maybe if Miley had been spanked, or if Billy Ray wasn't afraid of not being the "cool" dad, then we wouldn't have seen her grinding on a man old enough to be her father. But then again, she may be dancing with guys that looked like her father if she had been spanked. Part of her dancing like that may have been because she wanted to escape the Disney image that brought her to fame. Lots of Disney stars have felt that pressure, and Miley isn't the first one to go that route.
Maybe if we weren't so eager to grow up so fast, we wouldn't have to deal with the Hannah Ho-tannas of the world (credit to Lauren for that nickname).
[I'll probably be re-visiting this post, since it's kind of horrible and I really can't focus on the topic right now. I've got a lot of other things on my mind.]
Lately I've been hearing rumors about Miley Cyrus's lap dance, so I watched the video. It's as bad as they say it was. It was disgusting to watch, knowing that she was 16 at the time dancing with a 44-year-old. And her parents made excuses for her, just like when she danced on the stripper pole with stripper-like clothing.
And little girls are looking up to her. It's like a replay of Britney and Christina, except in one tiny little girl who's reached their peak of sexing it up at age 17. Sometimes I wonder how people can allow their children to go do it, especially ones in the public eye. A lot of adults are outraged at her sexual dance moves and parent's disregard for the path she's traveling. I'm disgusted, and I'm a few years older than her. I see this in people my own age, though, and am disgusted as well.
I don't dance like that in public. I hardly dance like that in private, unless I'm trying a new dancing work out. It's basically sex standing up with clothes on. At my high school, people did have sex standing up at the dances. And we let our children watch this, and emulate it. It's ridiculous.
Parents have gotten to the point where they don't discipline their children, like the Cyrus'. I was spanked if I so much as got caught in a lie, and taught to listen to my parents. Kids today run around rampant while their parents watch, because they don't want to look like "the bad guy". Now spanking is considered child abuse. Honestly, my kids are getting spanked. It's a way to discipline that, until we decided it wasn't politically correct to do so, worked wonders.
So maybe if Miley had been spanked, or if Billy Ray wasn't afraid of not being the "cool" dad, then we wouldn't have seen her grinding on a man old enough to be her father. But then again, she may be dancing with guys that looked like her father if she had been spanked. Part of her dancing like that may have been because she wanted to escape the Disney image that brought her to fame. Lots of Disney stars have felt that pressure, and Miley isn't the first one to go that route.
Maybe if we weren't so eager to grow up so fast, we wouldn't have to deal with the Hannah Ho-tannas of the world (credit to Lauren for that nickname).
[I'll probably be re-visiting this post, since it's kind of horrible and I really can't focus on the topic right now. I've got a lot of other things on my mind.]
Friday, March 5, 2010
Love Sex Magic
Generally I like blogging alone, with no one around, but tonight I'm not. Mainly because I want to get something down before I go on break. It's a weird feeling, having someone in the room with me, making weird noises because she's playing Dead Space. Especially with the topic of tonight.
Earlier today Dave (my boyfriend, for any who are just now tuning in), one of his close friends (my acquaintance), and I went to After Dark, which is a sex shop. Now, I'm fine with having someone come with us, since neither of us had a car and we wanted to compare it to the other sex shop in town (Cirilla's). And in Dave's psychology of sexuality class, people from another sex shop came by, so of course he was curious. It's fine that we all looked at everything intently. What started to get weird was how the sex stories started coming out, and I learned a lot more about her than anticipated.
For example, I now know that she will probably be sleeping with someone who's coming with. Someone who just got out of a relationship a few weeks ago. Granted, someone who's a friend and who she's liked for quite some time, but it was a bit startling for me to hear. I don't hang out with her even on a weekly basis, and she was just so open about it. The next thing I found out is that she has a dildo. Here. That her roommate takes and waves around. And near the end, I found out that she likes to use lube. Mainly because she was wondering which bottle she wanted to get, and asking me for advice.
Now, maybe it's just the way I was raised and haven't shaken this yet, but if I hardly know someone I don't normally tell them about my "sexploits". Hell, I haven't even told some of my closest friends about them. I guess I'm slightly traditional and like to think of sex as a private matter. Maybe it's because for me, 98% of the time it's making love. Dave doesn't think it's a big deal. She didn't think it was a big deal. Dave's other friends always joke about it, since we're the only people in a relationship. I joke about it to my friends in relationships that are at school (like to my roommate).
But I don't go into it thinking that everyone's had sex, because I know everyone hasn't. Most of the time I assume, when I meet a person, that they're a virgin, and this will continue to be in my head unless they tell me otherwise. I'm constantly surprised by what "sexploits" I've heard from this girl, because of this view of the world. I will admit there are a few exceptions. The girls who wear belts for skirts, and a wash cloth for a shirt. The ones who's clothing screams "EASY". Those girls I judge and assume they're not virgins. Because they're just trying to get someone to take notice of them, and trying to find love in a meaningless act with meaningless people.
I'll share stories about my sexploits if I'm close enough to the person. I'll outright lie to someone about my sexploits if I don't know them very well. I've done this multiple times. I've lied to my parents about this as well. It's just something that's private, that's between you and the person and maybe a few close friends. It's not something you share with the world, and it's not something you assume everyone does or is comfortable talking about it. Then again, this could be my parents' doing. I've only gotten the "sexual intercourse" talk from my mother twice. Once when I started menstruating, and once when things started getting serious with my boyfriend at the time. Sex was never discussed in our house.
I guess I should stop being surprised when I find out someone's not a virgin. I mean, we're all 20-somethings now. But I'll probably never change my position on believing someone's a virgin until they tell me they're not. Innocent until proven guilty, right?
Earlier today Dave (my boyfriend, for any who are just now tuning in), one of his close friends (my acquaintance), and I went to After Dark, which is a sex shop. Now, I'm fine with having someone come with us, since neither of us had a car and we wanted to compare it to the other sex shop in town (Cirilla's). And in Dave's psychology of sexuality class, people from another sex shop came by, so of course he was curious. It's fine that we all looked at everything intently. What started to get weird was how the sex stories started coming out, and I learned a lot more about her than anticipated.
For example, I now know that she will probably be sleeping with someone who's coming with. Someone who just got out of a relationship a few weeks ago. Granted, someone who's a friend and who she's liked for quite some time, but it was a bit startling for me to hear. I don't hang out with her even on a weekly basis, and she was just so open about it. The next thing I found out is that she has a dildo. Here. That her roommate takes and waves around. And near the end, I found out that she likes to use lube. Mainly because she was wondering which bottle she wanted to get, and asking me for advice.
Now, maybe it's just the way I was raised and haven't shaken this yet, but if I hardly know someone I don't normally tell them about my "sexploits". Hell, I haven't even told some of my closest friends about them. I guess I'm slightly traditional and like to think of sex as a private matter. Maybe it's because for me, 98% of the time it's making love. Dave doesn't think it's a big deal. She didn't think it was a big deal. Dave's other friends always joke about it, since we're the only people in a relationship. I joke about it to my friends in relationships that are at school (like to my roommate).
But I don't go into it thinking that everyone's had sex, because I know everyone hasn't. Most of the time I assume, when I meet a person, that they're a virgin, and this will continue to be in my head unless they tell me otherwise. I'm constantly surprised by what "sexploits" I've heard from this girl, because of this view of the world. I will admit there are a few exceptions. The girls who wear belts for skirts, and a wash cloth for a shirt. The ones who's clothing screams "EASY". Those girls I judge and assume they're not virgins. Because they're just trying to get someone to take notice of them, and trying to find love in a meaningless act with meaningless people.
I'll share stories about my sexploits if I'm close enough to the person. I'll outright lie to someone about my sexploits if I don't know them very well. I've done this multiple times. I've lied to my parents about this as well. It's just something that's private, that's between you and the person and maybe a few close friends. It's not something you share with the world, and it's not something you assume everyone does or is comfortable talking about it. Then again, this could be my parents' doing. I've only gotten the "sexual intercourse" talk from my mother twice. Once when I started menstruating, and once when things started getting serious with my boyfriend at the time. Sex was never discussed in our house.
I guess I should stop being surprised when I find out someone's not a virgin. I mean, we're all 20-somethings now. But I'll probably never change my position on believing someone's a virgin until they tell me they're not. Innocent until proven guilty, right?
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