So Brad says that lists are the easy way out, that they're not stories. It's just throwing your thoughts up in a list, building on them a bit, and sending to press. But today I feel like writing a little list, at least for myself. Because for more than a week now, I've been thinking about what I want, for me. I've always put myself second in relationships, and now that I'm single I've decided I need to raise my standards a bit. I need to take care of me. I'm important. I deserve to be treated as such.
For any guy who's interested:
1. Take care of me.
I'm always the strong one: the one who keeps on task and keeps you on task. The one who knows what's going on. The one who has money. The one who plans things. This is a constant theme in all of my relationships, and I'm sick of it. I want to be taken care of, even if it's just for a little while.
2. Be responsible for your own schedule.
Know when you have to get stuff in. If you need reminders every once in awhile, that's fine. I'm fine with helping you out there occasionally. But if I have to remind you of things that need to get done outside of class, as I did with Zack and Jose and to an extent Dave, then that's a bit much. I don't want you to fail at whatever you need to get done, I just don't want to be your schedule-keeper.
3. If you're genuinely interested in my activities, ask about them. If not, don't say you are.
Show me you're interested. If you don't, I'll think you just want to get into my pants and are saying things to impress me. I'm fine if you're not interested in Harry Potter, dancing, or fencing. I'd much rather you be honest with me. Say it sounds interesting but you'd never try it. Don't say you'll try it and then bail. Or, if it's truly not interesting in the least, but you can see it's important to me, say something along those lines.
4. Be spontaneous.
I'm a person who plans every aspect of my life. I don't do spontaneity very often. I'd like to change that, but sometimes I need help. And I don't mean something like, "Let's go to Kentucky for a weekend!" Thursday evening. I mean small things. Call me to look at the moon. Go for a walk with me to see the stars. Bring me something small, just to let me know you're thinking about me. Even if you don't have money, you have a meal plan. If you bring me something, there's a 95% chance I'll like it and eat it.
5. If you have a problem, come to me.
Don't keep things from me. If I notice something's visibly bothering you, then tell me. If it's not yours to tell, say that and I'll back off. If something's bothering you and you keep it from me because you don't want my opinion of you to change, saying that's going to change my opinion of you. It makes me think you can't trust me to care for you because you have a flaw. I already know you're not perfect.
6. Don't try to make me jealous.
Because it'll work. I don't know why you'd want me to be jealous of some other girl. I already have self-esteem issues. It doesn't end well for you if I find out you're intentionally making me jealous, or disregard my feelings of jealousy. Because in my past experience, I've had a reason to be jealous of the people I'm jealous of. One ex was still in love with her, another ex moved in on her after dumping me, and I know how girls think for the others.
7. Deal with me.
I'm a simple girl. I take pleasure in simple things, like Disney movies, cake, and sleep. I've got an eclectic list of interests: Harry Potter, religion, fashion, philosophy, photography, Power Rangers, cooking, and coloring, just to name a few. I can either be insanely mature, or take pleasure in childish things. It depends on where my head is. If that scares you now, then you don't know me, and if you dismiss me, you'll probably end up missing out. Get to know me and see how often I talk about those things that scare you.
8. Be romantic.
If you claim you're the romantic type, follow through. I've experienced little true romance, and of those few times I've had a part in planning it. I'm a hopeless romantic. I want to get swept off my feet. Cook for me. Study in candlelight. Go for a midnight walk with me and dance in the moonlight. Bring me a single flower. Write me silly notes. Text me just because. Mention me to your friends. Mention me to the world, via Internet.
9. Tell me how you feel.
Usually I'm not sure what to think about this. I mean, I like figuring out if someone has feelings for me. But I've come to realize that some people are just big flirts, and I can misread what I think are signs. I flirt with people too. I know this. But if I'm flirting with you every day and try and keep the conversation going for hours on end, 9 times out of 10 I have feelings for you. I won't outright tell you I like you unless you tell me first.
10. The superficial part...
This is subject to change. I go for personality over looks all the time.
But I'd like someone who's a bit taller than me, probably 5'10" and above. Someone who's cute. I'm a sucker for eyes, and tallying it up it seems that blue's the prevalent color. Someone who can dress himself. Someone who's confident. Well kept. Toned. There's this thing that I like to call the "V" that some guys have. Ask about it, I'll describe it. Probably my second favorite thing on a guy (eyes are first). I don't want to hear that I could've done much better again.
That said, I'm not sure how long it'll take me to be ready to find this person. Sometimes it feels like I should take initiative right now and go for it. Sometimes I think it'll take me a few months to be able to have a meaningful relationship. But if you care enough to come to my blog and read it, and are genuinely interested in me, then I'll do my best.
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