I'm home for break, and done with my Spanish minor. That in itself is cause for excitement and happiness. But I'm sitting in my room hardly unpacked, with a pile of laundry that needs to be done. Instead I'm taking the bit of alone time I can have to blog, and possibly write later.
I was going to write about my whole body image struggle, since I've recently discovered this amazing blog. I started to do that, and it just took so much out of me that I've put a stop to it. Let's just say that detailing my past through some pretty dark days doesn't help bring in holiday cheer. However, that blog is so positive that it's worth checking out (yours truly is thinking of posting something there).
So what else is there to write about today? I've been struggling with ideas all day. Well, that's a lie. I've had another one, but it's quite sad and it got me down while writing it, so I decided to ditch the idea. I want to write something cheerful! It's almost the holidays!
Well, I guess I'll just write about what the holidays mean to me. Normally, we have forced family fun days when I'm home. But the holidays are different. We get to eat good food, and I at least don't really have to try to have fun with them. Christmas is probably my favorite family holiday. Since we were younger we'd put up the tree, get the presents, keep them all secret, then put them under the tree on Christmas Eve.
When we were younger we just threw all the ornaments on the tree. My mom would put out all the crafts we made in classes as our decorations. We each had a stocking, and they were usually filled with candies, fruits, and an occasional watch or toothbrush. They were the first thing we'd check on Christmas morning. My dog even got a present from her stocking.
Then we'd move on to the presents. We'd have an elf who handed out the presents, and we'd all unwrap at once. Thank you's were exchanged. I miss the joy of thinking that Santa was awesome and got us what we wanted. Thanking the air, thinking that Santa could hear us, and knew how grateful we were to him. Now I realize it was my parents. I think they really enjoyed being Santa for us.
The presents have progressively gotten more expensive, and there have been less under the tree as we've grown. Opening presents has gotten to be a shorter time, and somehow we've added watching one of The Santa Clause movies as a tradition. Usually there's some kind of breakfast that's not cereal to eat, and it's not so much Christmas morning as it is Christmas day.
After presents, my mom works on Christmas dinner. My brother and I open some of our presents, and since there's usually one that's some sort of gadget, we take it out and start reading the directions. My dad watches The Santa Clause. But lately, there have been a few big changes to our routines.
Last year one of my half-sisters came to visit. Last year, there were issues with my dad's check arriving on time. Last year, there was only one present under the tree for me. Last year, we went Christmas shopping the day after (this has never happened). Last year, my one present was returned, and the day after Christmas shopping resulted in a few necessities and one video game.
This year my sister's not coming to visit. This year they didn't wait for me to put up the Christmas tree. This year, I just want Disney movies. This year, if I don't get Disney movies, I think I'll be getting professional clothing. This year, my parents have no Christmas spirit. This year, they're doing the bare minimum with decorations. This year, they're talking about Christmas with a defeated air. This year, it seems like they don't even want to try to make it cheerful.
This year, I think I'm the only one with any Christmas cheer. But this year, I'm going to infect everyone with Christmas cheer somehow, even if it takes me until Christmas Eve, or even Christmas Day, to do so. My family needs some Christmas cheer after the year we've had, so I'm going to deliver it to them.
No more Grinches in my house!
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