It's been awhile since I last wrote anything, but that's because nothing has really happened. My summer's been filled with Jeopardy, Tumblr, and texting Adam. Since I haven't had a job, I haven't seen the friends that are here, and most of them haven't returned for the summer.
But this past weekend Adam came to visit for my birthday, so I had to clean the house. I had to figure out what we would do, and how we would get there. I tried to plan things to do with my family and alone, but since both he and I have limited funds I didn't really make any plans. And so far this past weekend has been the best of the summer.
A few years ago I was scared of being in a long-distance relationship. I thought that the distance would undo everything, that not being able to see the person on a regular basis would make my feelings wane, and make it feel like a glorified friendship. That's why I broke up with Jose two summers ago. I knew that would be the reason for Zack and I to break up (then more things happened that contributed to the break up).
Last year, pre-April, I was afraid that the distance between Dave and I would be difficult for us. I started to make plans about when we could see each other. I thought that two weeks apart was the most either of us would be able to go without being able to see each other. I was planning how to budget my money, which weekends to visit, and how I'd get there. I was asking him the best way for him to reach me.
Winter break apart wasn't bad for us, so I don't know where this idea that two weeks would undo us came from. Maybe I felt something changing in our relationship, and that's why I started to plan ways to hold on to him. Maybe it's because when Jose and I had left the previous summer, it hadn't even taken me two weeks to want to end things. Maybe because I wanted him to meet my family and get to know them, and for me to meet the rest of his.
Whatever the reason it didn't really matter, he ended up dumping me before any plans had really been solidified. Which, now that I think about it, probably was for the best. The summer apart would've ruined us anyway, because we were both unhappy with the way the relationship was going. It would've left us a month to fix us, and that wasn't enough to fix it.
What it comes down to is that usually I suck at long-distance relationships. Usually I can't handle much more than a few weeks apart. Usually I lose interest in trying to make things work. Usually I'd rather hang out with my friends and see what else is out there than being tied down for an extended period of time. Usually when I'm away from my significant other for a period of time longer than three weeks (or sometimes less than that) I start to feel like I'm single and the only reason I can't go for someone else is because I don't want to be a cheater.
Not this time. With Adam, the three weeks of winter break felt like they passed incredibly slowly. We texted every day, Skyped most days, and he even came to visit me for a day. But those three weeks still seemed like more than a month. Before I thought it was because we had only been dating for a month before I came home.
These past few weeks were the same, though. Even after the first week it felt like it had been three weeks. The second week, the fourth. We both felt the same way about the distance and how it felt like forever since we had seen each other in person. We're usually texting each other about 12 hours a day. When we Skype, it's for at least three hours. And we don't run out of things to say.
Sure, sometimes our conversations are about how we miss each other and other private couples stuff, but we're still talking. And the four weeks it took for me to see him didn't make me feel single. It made me feel alone, yes, but not single. But I felt alone because only a few of my friends are here this summer, and all of his are there. I have little to do with my day but feel alone. He has his friends, a car, and a job. I just have the internet and my phone.
This weekend we did the same things that we would at school: Watched movies, ate, and talked. He got to know my parents a bit better and got the best friend approval, but it was mostly Adam and I all weekend. And it's one of my favorite weekends. For the rest of the summer it seems like it'll be about two weeks between each visit, and I get to go there next. Two weeks doesn't seem like too long now.
I used to think that "absence makes the heart grow fonder" was a lie.
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