Sweet Emotion

What does it mean to be in a relationship? I've never actually went around to poll people, and I'm sure everyone has different opinions, especially many of my peers. I mean, we are in college. Some people just believe that it's something within the physical. Many don't. Many come into college thinking it's the way it was in high school: you go out once, you're "in a relationship." But things change, for some reason, when you reach college. Probably because you've known the people you went to high school with for a good chunk of time. When you get to college, you don't know anyone. So you have to go on a few dates to get to know them. I mean, in high school you've had classes with this person, you've been to their house, you were friends before you started dating. In college, you meet someone at a party, down the hall, in class, or in a club. You think they're cute; they don't reveal everything about themselves at first glance. You become intrigued, and then you go on a date.

Let's say you've progressed past the whole first date business. What happens at the end of the night? Do you go in for a kiss? If so, does that mean you're in a relationship? Do you invite them inside? If you do, will they think you're easy? We have so many television shows and movies about high school drama and dating, and 30-somethings dating, but little about the college scene. True, we have the American Pie movies to look to, but after spending a few weeks on campus you learn quickly that these are far from the truth, unless you make it your truth. We have no guidance as to what to do to get into a relationship in college.

So you've figured out the whole end of the date thing, and now you're in a relationship. Are you a virgin? Is your partner? Do they subscribe to the Hollywood version of college: alcohol and sex? Do you? You have to figure this out pretty quickly, to make sure that you're not getting into a relationship just for the heck of it. Once you hit a certain age, you have to progress past dating just because to dating to find your spouse. If you both aren't virgins, how do you avoid the temptation of having sex too quickly? This issue could ruin your relationship. If you're female, and you sleep with him too soon, he will think you're too easy, and could leave you. If you're female and a virgin, you still have the same issue, plus the added pressure of him wanting you to. If you're both virgins, then you may not have as much pressure, but you feel like everyone around you is having sex, and you don't want to wait anymore.

These issues aside, how do you balance the physical with the emotional? You're in college. You have almost no boundaries, and an abundance of time. You know your roommate's schedule, and can easily have as much alone time as you wish. Let's say you fall into this trap. When you're together, you don't pass up an opportunity to get closer physically. So you get a lot of chances, and you continue to do this. Something's going to give, and it's usually the emotional. You know you started dating them for a reason, but the relationship has devolved into a physical one only. How do you fix it? If you cut back on the physical, you may not have chances to be with them anymore. Sure, you talk occasionally, but before you talked for hours on end.

Maybe you don't fall into this trap. Maybe you know how to handle your relationship. I commend you. But for most of us, we run into problems in our relationships, even if we're madly in love and believe that we've finally found the one. I don't know where else I was planning on going with this, but I'm pretty sure I've just lost it. Maybe I'll remember it soon.