How do you know when you're ready to get married? I've got a few friends who are engaged and planning on getting married soon, and before I couldn't figure out why they wanted to get married so young. I mean, we've got the rest of our lives ahead of us, why settle now? I've been at the place I thought most of these people were at a few times before. I know most of these people are still dating their first boyfriend/girlfriend, and I know how I felt with my first boyfriend. I was thinking that since we were so in love that we would last forever and get married. We had plans to do so, even. They were extremely vague, but they involved him going into the marines and sending his money so I could go to school, and then being set for life so I could pursue my passion: writing. Needless to say it didn't work out.
There's always a point in time in a real relationship where you think that maybe you two can last and eventually get married. At least, this has been my experience. Even if it's not very realistic, the thought crosses your mind. It may not stay there for long, but it's there. But I've never gotten further than wondering if our future careers will mesh and, as was the case with my first boyfriend, how our monetary situations would pan out. I was informed once that the boyfriend I had the longest relationship with was planning on proposing to me. Luckily he didn't, because I wouldn't have been able to accept it. So I've almost gotten a proposal, and I'm pretty sure I got an engagement ring from the same person for a present. But this is as far as I've ever gotten.
This year's different. In my free time I like to watch Say Yes to the Dress, and am starting to get interested in a wedding dress. Sometimes when I'm bored I'll even shop for wedding dresses online. I've decided that I would like an autumn wedding. I've got a very good idea of who my bridesmaids will be. I've even looked at engagement rings online. But in my defense it was in an article that I was reading. I've briefly thought of who I would need to invite to my wedding, and I have an idea of what kind of wedding cake I want. Granted, this is because I watch too much Food Network, but I've got the idea in my head. My boyfriend and I have even been discussing it, although it is very briefly and in passing. He also wants an autumn wedding, he wants a small wedding, and he's already planning the first dance.
Although this has all been spread out over the course of the past few months, I keep thinking about getting engaged. I know that I'm not ready to get engaged, and that my parents won't approve of it. We've only been dating for five months, and we've had our ups and downs. Even though I know this, even though I know it'll be hard for me to do what I want to do with my life if I get married early, and even though it seems like our relationship is rocky lately instead of smooth sailing, I keep thinking about getting engaged. It's not going to happen for at least two years, unless I get pregnant before then, which I'm not planning on doing anytime soon.
Even though I know this, I keep having this urge to get engaged. I guess that means that I think I've found the one I want to be with for the rest of my life. That, or I'm going crazy. And honestly, either of those scenarios is entirely plausible.
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