I knew it. I knew something like this was going to come up. But I didn't think it'd come up for at least another year or two.
Adam's dad basically doesn't think Adam and I will have a happy life together because I'm not Christian. While I ranted a bit on my Tumblr about it, I now have a better understanding of what he meant, but the above conclusion is still true. And I'm still upset over it.
He quoted some scripture that basically said it's going to be hard when two in a relationship are different religions. We're going to have different ideas on how to conduct the wedding, church going activities, and how to raise children, is what it's being interpreted as. And when I first heard it, it basically sounded like he was fine with us dating, but we couldn't get married because of it. I guess that bit's not 100% true, but whatever.
Either way, Adam's dad doesn't know what goes on in our relationship. He doesn't know that so far we've learned how to discuss our differences in religion (to a point) so no one gets angry or hurt by what the other says. He just assumed that we'll have conflict with our differing religions. I don't care if Adam's Christian, as long as he's not rubbing it in my face, telling me I'm going to Hell, or telling me that I'm not a good person because I'm not a Christian. And he doesn't tell me these things.
Nor does he know that I've told Adam before that when it comes to kids, if we have them then I don't care if they go to church or not, as long as they're not forced to continue to go if they don't believe. I also don't care as long as we let them know they have a choice of what religion they belong to. I don't think belief should be forced.
And instead of talking to Adam about it, or approaching me with his concerns, he just assumes that we're doomed because I'm not a Christian. It almost came off as he didn't think I was good enough for his son just because I'm not Christian. And this is what made me mad.
I'm not going to magically gain more morals because I'm a Christian. I'm probably not going to become more conservative just because I'm a Christian. So what's going to change if I became a Christian? My immortal soul would be saved? I'm already quite aware of all the suffering going on in the world and the country. I can't do anything about it except what I try to do right now, and that's bring attention to it. Maybe someone who is in a better position to help and make changes will see it and do something about it. Becoming Christian is not going to bring me into more wealth, time, or power to affect change.
And really, that's what bugs me about organized religion. Somehow I'm not a moral person because I don't believe Jesus died for my sins, because I don't believe he's the son of God. Because Christians haven't ever done wrong. It's stereotypical to say that, and especially to believe it. I'm not sure how to handle it, quite honestly. I've put up with the snide comments about deism, about liberals, about things that I care about.
You would think that after almost a year of dating he'd have come to understand that people can be good without Jesus in their life. And he doesn't even know why I don't believe anymore. Not like it'd matter though, he'd probably just use the same argument as Adam did when I told him.
Adam said he doesn't care what his dad thought, and he said if push comes to shove his mom could probably bring his dad around. I didn't realize that my religion (or "choosing what I believe" in his dad's words) would rule me out as a viable candidate to marry his son, when the last Christian (Catholic) who dated him was not someone who deserved his son. His son deserved much more than what she gave him, but she's got more of a chance because she believes Jesus is her savior.
I guess I should just trust in the fact that Adam said it'd all work out. Good thing I don't have to see his dad for a week.
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