Art in Me (86/90)

So I decided not to write three posts in one day. Here's yesterday's post before I go out.

I have a Tumblr. Only one person I know in real life knows what my Tumblr name is and what I post on it. I like it that way. My Tumblr is so much more than this, because that's where I post short, two sentence thoughts, or long drawn out stories. It's where I can spam about Harry Potter and the failures of Twilight. It's where I can read other peoples' problems and know that I'm not alone. And it's where I post uncensored thoughts that are begging to get out.

But this isn't a post about my Tumblr, and it's not supposed to make you go out and join, or to find me on there. I follow someone on Tumblr that I've never met before, but is constantly posting Harry Potter related tidbits. Not only that, but she's going to art school and is my age. Lately she's been putting up her original drawings of either Harry Potter fanart, or of her own creations. And they're beautiful.

I wish I could draw or sculpt or paint. I wish I had a talent in the visual arts as well. I do love writing, truly, but there are times when I just can't find the words to convey my emotions or what I'm seeing in my mind, and I just want to get it out. There are times when words aren't enough. There are times when I want to affect someone in an instant, from a glimpse of a piece of art, instead of having them take their time to understand the beauty of my creation.

I used to think I could train myself to draw better, if I just kept drawing. I got a pretty nice drawing book when I was younger, and there are some drawings in there. But mostly it was a sort of secret diary that didn't look like one. It was the place where I wrote acrostic poems and played MASH. The place where I did my own love calculator and hid the notes I wrote to my friends in class. Eventually I tried to draw in it, and it didn't go so well.

I took drawing classes in elementary and middle school. We had to take art, and that's where I learned how to make clay pots. I think there might be a few around the house still. But they were two attempts, and I didn't get to follow through with them. I know that if I tried to take a drawing class right now, I'd probably fail. Most of the people in them are art/animation majors, and here I am, not knowing how to accurately draw or sketch anything.

I've been thinking about trying to take the fashion illustration class, which could combine two of my interests. I think that it's open to everyone, even though I'd probably fail that as well. But it's something that might come in handy down the line. I'm thinking of eventually trying to help collaborate in a fashion line when I'm older. Trying to produce clothes to fit every body type, including mine. My own struggles to find clothes are what has inspired this desire.

But to do that, I need to be able to design what I have in my mind. I need to take some sort of drawing class, even if I do fail. Because even if I can't execute what they tell me to in the time required, I'm sure that I could pick up on certain things eventually that would help me down the line. I may not progress very quickly and to the standard that the college world has come to expect, but at least I'd be learning for my own purposes.

And maybe I could do well.