Happy Fourth y'all.
I was standing in my backyard, trying to catch a few fireworks from everyone else's yards. I think this is the first Independence Day in four years that I've stayed home with my family, and haven't had someone by my side as I watched some fireworks. I had some music playing, and the fireworks and my situation inspired me. I think I have a poem in me tonight, everyone.
Alone, in my backyard
Watching everyone else's festivities.
Alright with my situation on some days,
Incredibly lonely on others.
And I think of you, and the fantasies we entertained one night.
The ones of a beach, fireworks going off over our heads
As we made our own fireworks on the ground.
One of the few fantasies that stuck with me.
I want to see your fireworks.
I want to be the cause of them.
I want to see fireworks,
I want them caused by you.
Sparks have flown between us,
Helped by imaginations and distance.
But lately, they've seemed less like magnesium
And more like children's playthings.
I may have been acting like a child with you,
Wanting something, and getting frustrated when I can't get it.
The idea and anticipation may be more intriguing
Than actually having the object.
I want those fireworks.
I want a blaze in your eyes when you look at me,
I want the same excitement fireworks can give
To light in you when you're with me.
A question arises: Why?
Why do I want this so badly?
Am I feeling that lonely?
Or am I looking for something different?
And the biggest question of all:
Can I go through with it?
Because I'm afraid,
Afraid and concerned that
This will be like a firework,
Providing entertainment for a flash,
Then fading in the wind,
The memory erased as soon as the next one comes.
*This is the first draft, it may change in the future. The form of the poems I write differ with the mood I'm in*
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