I went to Panera with some high school friends.
It was slightly awkward, I felt. I don't remember the last time we were all together like that. I think it may have been a year ago, and we didn't part on the best of terms. But that's not the point of tonight's blog. I hope that I can get through what I've been thinking about with enough material to make a complete post.
Everyone at the lakehouse was single, so I felt comfortable revealing something I've been thinking about for awhile. "Bros before hoes" or "chicks before dicks" is just a saying. I don't know of anyone who has successfully followed these sayings completely. Yes, people try to do so, but I really haven't seen it done.
I know I haven't been able to follow this. There have been times in all of my relationships when I could have stayed with my friends, and instead hung out with whoever I was dating at the time. I give up time that I could spend with my friends to be with the guy. I've done it at school, and I've done it at home. Over fall break I had Dave come visit for a day instead of making plans to see my friends at home.
But I know that if it came down to choosing between someone I was dating and my friends for something that had a greater impact on my life than watching a movie with one or the other, then I'd go with my friends. They've seen me at my worst and stuck around even when I was being silly with the boy. And I know others who have the same.
But sometimes that isn't enough. Sometimes we have to step back from the relationship and realize that we've been neglecting our friends. Sometimes time seems to have gone on so fast that we don't even realize it. Sometimes we get so caught up in love and lust that we get addicted to it, and because we can't get those feelings from our friends, we don't instantly think about them when trying to make plans.
So long as we include them in our conversations, and try and make an effort to talk to them when we're not going through a crisis, though, we can maintain these friendships. Even when they do something we don't agree on, and wouldn't do in the first place. We can only give so much advice and hint so many different ways until they realize what's going on. And depending on if they're dating a boy/girl or a man/woman can make it easier to maintain friendships.
I don't call the males my age men, because they still act like the boys they were in high school. They still have unrealistic expectations or immaturities to grow out of. Granted, I don't know many women my age either. We have more unrealistic expectations, though. I like to think that we're young women, or young ladies. We're not girls anymore. But they are boys still.
It may just be the ones that I know, but they really do only have a few things on their minds, and about 99% of them have sex as a big motivator on the brain. Not really getting to know the young lady, either. Basically if she's not horrible and looks good, he will try and sleep with her. I honestly can't wait until I can find one who doesn't want me solely for that. I hear that they turn into young men around age 25.
Four more years. I've already dated for four years. This seems a bit daunting.
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