Die Another Day (45/90)

Today is the halfway point of the 90 in 90.

It's very hard to be impulsive if what's in your plans is dependent on other people. I learned that today. I was exited to go out and try something new, and then I never heard from them. And then I thought I came up with a brilliant plan, but it seems like I'll have to lead that horse to the water in the end, and I'm not sure if I have it in me.

Lately my blog's been turning into a place where I can sort through my life and try and figure out where I've been going wrong. And I'm getting sick of writing it, and I'm sure you're getting sick of reading it. I thought it used to have some sort of insight into humanity as a whole, and now it's more like me examining myself and my issues and hoping that someone out there will sympathize. That's really not what I've been trying to go for with this.

But lately I haven't really had too many insightful thoughts. Lately my head's been crammed with what seems to be fast approaching impossible hopes. And through trying to attain these hopes, I've been trying to better myself. It seems like I write things, and never really make the points I want to make, as is evident in this post as well.

In Goblet of Fire, I've just finished the chapter where Professor Moody shows the class the three Unforgivable Curses, and I got to thinking about death and what happens when we die. Sure, I know that our bodies decompose and all of that, but what about our souls? Do we even have souls? I'm a Deist, so I really don't have a religion to look towards for my answer. There's really no defining thought on the soul or the afterlife in Deism; it's up to each individual.

I think we have a soul. There is something within me that isn't completely corporeal. You may call it my essence, if you wish. That what makes me, me. I don't think it will be extinguished once I die. But I'm not sure about what happens to it when I die. I'd like to believe that there's a heaven, because then my soul would have someplace to reside for eternity. And if there's a heaven, then naturally there's a hell. But then what standards would make one soul to go heaven, and one to hell?

There's no interfering God in Deism, which is the main reason I'm a Deist. So who's to say that those that would be meant for hell don't make it to heaven, if there are both? Maybe there's not actually a heaven and a hell. Maybe my soul just wanders around on Earth for the rest of time. There would be enough to see to keep me occupied for that long. Or maybe there's just a place for souls, no heaven and hell division.

I don't know. The last two sound plausible, the first sounds ideal. But, generally speaking, ideal situations are few and far between. All I know is that there is a soul inside me that won't be extinguished when my body dies. I've raised more questions than answers in tonight's post, but I honestly don't know the answers at this point in time. But then again, I've got plenty of time to think about it, and hopefully much more time to come to a conclusion I can believe in.

I think the reasonable answer is that souls wander the Earth. And Deism is, after all, based on reason.