Brighter (39/90)

Today was my mom's birthday, but since I have a lack of funds, we didn't really do anything. She had the day off though. We kinda hung out, and I finished Chamber of Secrets today.

And yes, today's post is inspired by Harry Potter again. And until the 18th, which is when I'm planning on being done with the series, you should probably expect them to be Harry Potter related or themed. So long as there's one quote that makes me think in every book, and I'm sure there will be. Tonight's is from Dumbledore. "It is our choices, Harry, that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities." (Chamber of Secrets, page 333, American version).

Which is good news to me, since I have very few abilities, but a lot of choices at hand. But then again, I'm a very indecisive person, so sometimes it's hard for me to make a choice. It takes me a lot of time usually to sit down and think through important choices. I'm really not an impulsive person, although I've been told it seems like I am? I do make impulsive small, inconsequential decisions, like driving down the street to get Burger King instead of Jimmy John's and things like that.

But overall, I do think about my choices, because I do believe that they do show what we are. It's easy enough to pretend to be something you're not. But put someone in a tough situation, and that's when what they're made of truly comes out. Or even something that's not so tough. Any situation is a chance to see what a person's like.

I've seen some choices made by people that have changed how I perceive them. Like intentionally manipulating someone to get what you want. And I know that to an extent a vast majority of people will use manipulation, but there are certain instances when I can't stand it. And that's because I've seen how far someone will go with their manipulation, and the resulting fallout and turmoil from it. The choice he made still mars how I see him.

Another choice I've seen is how far people will go to keep something from someone, just so they can still look like the knight in shining armor they wish to be. Using and then completely disregarding peoples' feelings just to keep what they had. Lying and going behind her back. And then not taking care of her when she needed it and going off to fulfill your own agenda. If I didn't like him before this year, I definitely don't now.

And I know my own choices have changed how I see myself. I've been talking about becoming someone who is more in control with her life, and now that I'm doing that I'm actually really starting to like myself. And I'm thinking that others around me are liking the fact that I'm liking me more. It's an interesting feeling. I wish I had discovered this before.

I wish I had actually taken Dumbledore's advice to heart when I first started reading the series. I have a feeling that I would've been a different person than who I am now, and probably would've reached this whole "liking myself" think a lot quicker if I had. But then I would've missed out on everything I've been through, which I think would be a tragedy for me to have missed out on. Although I do admit, some things I could've done without, but on the whole I actually appreciate what I've gone through.

I made my choices, and I'm still sticking to them. We'll see where they take me.