The Bad Touch (2/90)

Well, I've figured out a way to keep me updating daily, since I already have an alarm set for 12:15. Now it's serving two purposes.

I've learned that I really don't like people I don't know very well touching me. Today was the third time that's happened this semester. I don't know why. Normally, I like touching people. Sometimes I even cling to my friends for a bit longer than is comfortable. When I'm in a relationship or thinking of starting one, I like touching the person. I love cuddling. But only with people I know.

And today, my future employer who I had met one time previously at the interview came up behind me and tried to tickle me. Now, at the time I just laughed it off, but for some reason it bugged me, and is still bugging me. Apparently I'm not as good with people as I thought I was.

That's not the first time I've had a negative reaction to someone I hardly know touch me. The first time this happened was with someone I was slightly interested in, and it wasn't even as long or as intimate as trying to tickle me. He just patted me on the shoulder, for reasons I can't remember right now. But I remember flinching (probably visibly), and I hope he didn't see it. I can't help but think that he did though. Could be another reason why he's stopped talking to me unless I ask a direct question.

I even had a professor who I've had for the past two years touch me earlier this semester and cringed. And this man is my favorite professor, and if I could be an Honors college major I'd leave history behind and take all the classes I could with him. I like to think I know him fairly well, but I still didn't want him patting me on the back.

But I don't know where this newfound dislike for being touched came from. I can't help but think that it's because I haven't really been touched lately. I mean, I hug my friends, especially on the weekends, but that's about it. I haven't been touched for more than a few seconds for about a month now, I think. But still. Even those touches from people I don't know are for a few seconds - even less time than the hugs.

So why do I hate being touched all of a sudden by people I don't know? I really have no idea. I wish I did though. Maybe it goes back to that whole not liking to be naked thing. My extended family only did the whole hugging thing when we first met up, and when we left. Not much in between that. And my extended family and I don't see each other very often. Once every six months, if we're lucky. It's getting to once a year now. And we still only hug at the beginning and at the end. We talk a lot, sure. But there's a strict no touch policy unless you're married, or they're your kid.

I wish I could get over this. It's really bothering me. And I thought this was going to be a bit longer than it turned out to be. Possibly because I shouldn't try and blog around people. They distract me.