But It's Better if You Do (31/90)

Epic amounts of rain today, so I napped for quite a bit. There was only one thing on my mind, and it was more of a person.

And it was because of an ongoing conversation we had. I'm honestly not sure how long it lasted, but it was spread out over the course of about five hours. It just added to the happy feeling I've had since I saw Lauren, Tori, Bill, and Brittany standing in my door. But this conversation has had me thinking all day, and since everything's still really jumbled in my head I'm not going to write about it tonight. And it may be something I decide to keep to myself after all. I'm not too sure yet.

Instead, since yesterday marked being 1/3 of the way done with my 90 posts in 90 days, I thought I'd give you a bit of an update on how I'm doing with it. Of course, yesterday's post was rather shorter than usual, but the surprise of my friends plus the ongoing conversation effectively ruined my brain for any deep thought. For the most part, though, I've found it fairly easy to come up with topics and have enough material to blog about. The Miley Cyrus entry was done on a brain-dead night, and besides for that it's turning out much better than expected.

I even was able to blog through my apathetic phase. I think that one was just a need to reboot and recharge myself, in order to get to the place where I am today. So far it doesn't seem like I'll end up running out of ideas to write about. I've got a few extra phrases saved as drafts if I can't think of anything to write about for a day, from those days that I've had a few ideas bouncing around in my head.

So what else have I been up to, besides for the 90 in 90? I did say this was going to be my summer. "The Summer of Change," I called it. So far I've been eating healthier and sticking to my work out plan fairly well. I'm seeing and feeling results, just not on the scale. But I think I'm fine with that. My very good friend Margaret told me that I'm the same height and weight as Beyonce. And now, I really don't care if I hit my goal weight, so long as I look good and feel good.

I was planning on picking up my saxophone again this summer, at least twice a week. I haven't done that yet. I was planning on making lists of things I liked and didn't like about myself. To improve on my flaws and have encouragement for hard days. That never happened, but I don't think I need to. I think this first month was dedicated to letting go of things that were said or happened in the past. I usually don't hold a grudge, but I have a mind like an elephant's when it comes to times when I was upset by someone more than I let on.

I think for the month of June (my birthday month), I'm going to work on being more honest. I'm a pretty honest person, but I hide when I'm upset with someone, and the complete reason why. I don't want to upset people, so I just tell them a bit of what's bothering me. But I came forward last night about something instead of passively-aggressively ignoring the issue, and got an apology that I wouldn't have if I hadn't said anything.

These are just some of the things I wanted to do this summer. I've got about two more months of being at home before I have to go back to start training for my job during the school year. It feels like it'll be over in a flash, and that the rest of my summer will stretch out. I guess that's what happens when something (or someone) you're anticipating is waiting on the other end of the break. But I've also found that usually, the anticipation is more fun than the actual event.

This time, I hope the event's as much fun as this anticipation we've been having. If not more.