Helped out a friend with some issues, watched some TV, danced some more. No calls from jobs still.
There really hasn't been much of a theme with my thoughts today, but I've been trying to listen to different songs, mainly ones that have memories attached to them. Lately I've had the radio on when I'm in my room at night, and every time a certain song came on I had to change the station. Because of the memories associated with it.
There's usually a song that defines a relationship. Well, Dave and I had a few. "Fallin' for You" by Colbie Caillat and "Down" by Jay Sean. And every time these songs would come on, I would have to change the station. If I were across the room I would literally run to change the station when I heard the first few notes. There were a lot of memories with these two songs.
On one of the last days of school, I went to waste my meal plan, and "Fallin' for You" came on. I couldn't change the station this time. I had to endure it. And the memories from the beginning came back. Not the ones that I had been dwelling on. They were good memories, of course. But not as strong as the ones I had been going over in my head when something else reminded me of him. And I realized why - that song was for the beginning of our relationship. We already knew we had fallen hard for each other by October even, and things just continued to grow from there.
But "Down" has a completely different significance to me. When I heard it at the end of the summer, I thought it was just another song talking about girls dancing and wanting to have sex with them. But on our first date, he had the song stuck in his head, and was singing it. Somehow it became the defining song of our relationship. I never got sick of hearing it. And then at the Valentine's Dance we went to, they played both of our songs.
We somehow came up with a dance. It wasn't really a ballroom type of dance. It was indescribable. I guess we were so in sync with each other at that point that we choreographed a dance on the spot, and it flowed. We both agree that it was amazing how well it worked and how we thought it would've been fun to watch us perform it. And that's the strongest memory of that song.
The song's still getting airtime on the three radio stations I listen to, and I've always changed the station. But for over a week now, it's just been habit. I don't get a scared, tight feeling in my chest when I hear the first few notes. So today I listened to it. And it wasn't as hard as I thought it would be. I don't think I actually let myself relive anything of our relationship when I listened to it. I just had brief moments in time, nothing was focused.
Memories are a funny thing. Certain things are easily recalled, and certain others you can't for the life of you remember. It's getting harder to remember certain moments in time of our relationship. I guess that's what happens when you don't desperately try to keep the memories close. And somehow I can still remember how it felt to dance with him, and how he laughed at something he found hilarious. I can't remember, for instance, much about what we did for Valentine's Day. I know we went to see the movie, but that's about it.
And yet I can remember back to when I was three, sitting in a pew at my parents' wedding. I was bored, in a white dress, and rooting around in the pews. I pulled out a piece of Double Bubble gum, still in the wrapper. It obviously amused me, because I decided to chew it. I remember it was really hard. This is the earliest memory I have, and I don't really remember much else from my childhood.
The thing that seems to trigger some memories between then and middle school are songs. Give me a Disney song, and I can remember things my family did while singing them, the first time I saw the movie, and random other things. Give me something from Radio Disney, and I can probably still sing all the lyrics. Give me some jazz pieces, and I'll remember car rides with my dad.
No other medium gives me as strong memories as music does. Certain movies I can remember some things about the settings, but if there's no music that's accompanying my memories, it's a lot harder to remember. Even if I'm talking with the person I was there with. I wonder why music is such an important factor in my memories.
Maybe it's because music's always been a big part of my life? But that's for another time.
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